My magical bundle.. a chill runs in spine even today when i think of that day. Thanks to internet for the freely available details on motherhood pregnancy child birth delivary and labor, I was fully up to date of what is to be expected etc and etc.Knowing all these makes you feel little confident and also scared and may be thats why they say ignorance is bliss.Since I am a sports person I was absolutely confident that I would have vaginal birth only and literally enjoying every moment of pregnancy. Then struck the actual tragedy the gestational diabates that I had took its toll and doctors said i am supposed to under go a C section to save the baby and me. I saw the sugar levels fluctuating. My entry to the hospital in heavy rains itself was a very big drama which I am not saying. My husband was pocking me you are lazy thatsy you are having a C section. It is going to cost so much. Do women in village undergo this.. I was in absolute stress. I tried to calm myself but I couldnt. Let me be honest I felt very bad that I will not be able to deliver the baby normally. I was even thinking may be I am not a complete women. Among other funny things like power failure and other stuff happening around me I was waiting for that day to get over. As I went inside the operation theatre, I still was thinking if some how I could deliver normally. Anestisia was given, Now I am numb, I was just wishing if things dint go this way.Thanks to power failure, I could see my operation in the parabolic mirror. My stomach was cut, I could here the running commentary from the doctors. Then a miracle happened I saw the cute little legs. Doctors said catch the baby. The baby ran deep inside feeling scared. The doctors told " dint see the mother and all ready running inside her for safety". These words made me cry. It dint bother me whether i am lazy girl or whether i gave birth via c section or nothing came into my mind. I was crying crying.. of happiness. The baby is clinging to me. I felt so happy. Every moment my child went deep inside me escaping my doctors hands, I felt exhillerated, oh much the baby wants me. Then finally doctors pulled her out. and then i wanted her by my side. I wanted to kiss her and tell her I am your mom. I am there for you. Dont be scared. I had to stiched back but i couldnt wait, I wanted my surgery to get over. I wanted my baby. She was already cleaned up and waiting with my mom. Since she was hungry ped gave her lactogen. I was in operating theathre. I was thinking my child is hungry I have to go and I have to feed her. Time seemed like eternity. My child is there for me. I started to pester the doctor when is it getting over,My doctor told you cant even move for another 6 hours. Dont think you can play with your baby. Relax and let us finish the job.After some time ( Doctors said 30 minutes to me it was atlest a century years) I went to my room and there was my daughter. She was pink and chubby and sleeping.I asked my mom to leave her next to me. As doctors said I coudnt move, the spinal anesthesia was making me motionless. I wished I could pick her. I was crying for unable to hold her and my mom was consoling me saying baby is not going to go anywhere.during this 6 hours I coudnt nurse and my baby had to take lactogen again. I felt so bad hating myself my body for not doing anything for my baby. For leaving my child to lactogen. Then after 6 hours the miracle happened. I was able to lift the baby. I put her to my chest and she suckled. For the first time I found the meaning of my life. I cried I cried out of happiness out of exhilaration. It was so beautiful.She cuddled in the warmth of my body and suckled my breasts and it was this day for which I lived so long. I sat down and let her drink for me. I start to get back ache because of spinal anesthesia. ( i am supposed to lie town for atlest 24 hours for the spinal anesthesias side effects to recede). But I ditn bother I wanted to be there for my child. So in that pain I was feeding her and when she peed on me, I felt like bathing in it for ever. Then she pooped on me it was absolutely fine for me.Then I looked at my mom and i realised what all she has done for me. I thanked her and hugged both my mom and my daughter.My bundle of joy brought me sense, brought in me tollerance, brought in me love, compassion, more respect for my parents.taught me that beauty doesnt make man, it taught me that having scars is a nice thing. My bundle of joy made me realise that having an baby messed up home is better than a clean and tider one.Babys cry is much better than the best of music.Now I am in peace with myself and I dedicate this to my parents who have brought me up made me what I am today. and I dedicate this to my baby who made me a human from simple selfish ever demanding girl.Thank you chella kuti.PS: I had a son a year later. I thought he will also fight with doctors and stay inside me during the surgery. But then he gave up and came with in a moment. I felt little sad that my son didnt fight so much. But I dint have to wait for 6 hours to hold him. He was with me soon and there was no emotional drama.