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    Talking divorce with your child. Books can help!
    772 engaged
    Syeda Fatima
    I am from Hyderabad, India. Hello mommies! I am a mommy blogger from Hyderabad, who likes to keep busy and productive. I have been divorced after a 6.5 yr marriage, and now married to my lovely husband. We welcomes our baby boy in Feb 2017! Follow me @hyderabadimom on twitter and facebook and read up my blog! I believe there's no limit to a womans potential, especially when she's a mother on a mission! I hope you like my posts! Happy reading!
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    Divorce
    22 April 2015

    Talking divorce with your child. Books can help!

    3 mins read

    for Moms, Planning, Pregnancy, New Born, Baby, Toddlers, Pre-schoolers, Pre-teen, Teen
    772 engaged
    Explaining divorce to your child is not easy, I am almost scared to discuss the situation with my daughter, the anxiety of always having the right answer to her questions is apparent. And I took help from books to get direction. I disucuss one that really stood out for me.

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    So I  was looking on ways to handle the few questions that are brewing in the mind of my daughter. It can never be easy to be divorced, no matter how wrong your ex was. It must make you feel good that you finally could take a stand, or are able to move forward in life, but when you have a child in the picture, there's much more explanation that needs to take place.

    I went for therapy, just three sessions were enough for me. I needed the clarity in my head to deal with the situation for myself, and while I was finding the calm very helping, I realsied I have to start getting prepared to deal with the questions Batool may have. As she grows, she will be more observant, and have questions that will have to be answered, and it's only fair that I provide her with them.

    For me parenting has always been made easy by books, and I logged on to Flipkart and ordered a few, just to explore, and get an idea if she was ready for it. And although I think she isn't, and I will wait for her to ask the questions I wanted to share this particular book that I found was written very well, and would fulfill the purpose for any curious child between the ages of 5-11. The name of the book is 'Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce' by Cornelia Maude Spelman.

    The book doesn't start off with the divorce, this was what I liked, it's written in story form and made relatable. There is also a sibling, which makes this book more versatile. It assures the reader of love that parents have, and how communicating with them is just as important and significant for the parent as they want it to be. It's a comforting book for a child. Obviously it needs to be read to the child, with explanations, discussions, and should be revisited. It's an ice breaker for the parent and child to openly discuss this change in the family dynamic. This book brings the reassurance to the child about the love that parents have for their children. That no matter what their mother will always be their mother and their father would always be their father.

    I highly recommend it to all single parents out there who may be struggling with communicating about divorce with their children. One thing I know for sure is that I rather be preapred to answer all her questions, and satisfy her curiosity than for her to get a negative/skewed picture on divorce from friends or extended family. She should always know that her mother will be more than happy to entertain her thoughts, and satisfy her curiosity.
     

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    Comments (2)

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    Syeda Fatima
    Thank you Tilottama for your encouraging words.
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    Tilottama Chatterjee
    Such an interesting read Syeda, I learn everything from books too - so I can see where you're coming from. You seem like such an empowered woman, and such a caring mom. Keep writing!
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