Here are a few things that we feel mothers tend to keep adjusting to until the pressure builds up. It’s important to be aware of these and make a positive shift.
1. Handling emotional challenges –
Being a mother, even though it is a privilege and honour, does come with its share of emotional challenges. Just when you think you’ve got it all sorted out, bam! Your child refuses to listen to you or throws a temper tantrum. Unfortunately, you can’t shut yourself away from such emotional barrages with your kids no matter how old they are. From work you can switch off, but from parenting, you cannot. Ask for help from your spouse, your parents or caregivers – you don’t need to handle it all alone.
2. Lack of sleep and rest –
As mothers we seldom put ourselves at the top in the priority list; in fact we don’t even feature on the list! Why is that? Remember, a woman/ a mother is a focal point of a family or household and if anything happens to her, the entire balance gets lopsided. Mothers have to realise that YOU come first. Yes – first. Whether you like it or not, we have to put our emotional and physical well-being on top priority and then tend to others. So getting those hours of sleep and rest is as crucial to us as anyone else in the family including our children.
3. Trying to do it all –
Sometimes it is really okay to let go. If the house is not clean or the dishes not done – no matter how much it frustrates you from within, sometimes it is best to let go. Because even though we’re multi-tasking goddesses, even goddesses need a break. So if the house help doesn’t turn up, it’s best to take things easy. Cook up a one-meal option or get the rest of the family and the kids to help. Stop trying to do it all and stop trying to please everyone – it’s a battle lost before it is even fought.
4. Being guilty and the fear of being judged –
As mothers we are already doing our best juggling home, childcare and work. We have to let go of two self-inflicted negative influences in our lives – the fear of being judged and being guilty and for what? For not sending packed lunch one day and letting your child buy his lunch from the school canteen, for putting your child in day care while you step out to work or run errands, or for not being able to cook a meal and hiring a cook – where is it written that a woman HAS to do everything? Fortunately we have a lot of trained help available right from reliable day care centres, care givers and domestic help, if you can afford to stretch yourself a little you can get some helping hand and step out to work and live a life that you long to. And please – ban the guilt, it only consumes you.
5. It’s really okay to cry and let off steam -
It’s very important to realise that our kids are constantly learning by observing us, and if we show them that in spite of a breakdown we overcome it all, they will love us more because we’re only human. So if you feel like complaining, whining, crying – do if you must as you too need to let off steam. Bottling up frustration’s can be harmful to us and hence it is best to let off steam, feel light, get up and move on. As mothers we tend to deny ourselves our emotions and feelings – but not anymore. Bring the change from within – remember, mothers are humans too ;)
When a mother leads a happy life, the rest of her family will love and respect her for being the woman she is and not the sacrificial lamb she strived to be.
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