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    Parenting >Care
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    19 January 2017

    I Wish These People Had Not 'Helped' Me With Advice Related to My Baby

    Vidya Sury
    Guest Contributor, 
    WOM Score 10
    I am from Bengaluru, India. After a couple of decades in the corporate world in marketing and training, I am living my dream as a Writer | Editor | Blogger.I enjoy writing so much that I juggle five blogs of my own. More about me here: http://about.me/vidyasury On really busy days, my free time is restricted to playing with my dust bunnies and showing my diabetes who's boss. Oh, I love coffee, books, cooking, music, photography, travel, people and collecting smiles. I am a social media explorer. I believe there is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. And that people will always rule over technology!
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    If there is one thing a new mom dreads, it is the constant truckload of advice that starts arriving like an avalanche. It all begins when she announces her pregnancy. Don't do this, do that. Oh, no, no, no--never do this! And so on. As the D-day approaches, and the mom-to-be is anxiously waiting to hold her precious bundle of joy in her hands, the flow of advice gets stronger. As it is, she's already nervous about handling her newborn and doing the right thing, and on top of that, with the advice overload, she becomes even more anxious! Now, she's just not sure what to follow and what to ignore.

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    I experienced the same thing as soon as I announced that I was pregnant. Let me give you some examples:

    “Add saffron to your glass of milk every day so that your baby’s complexion is fair”.

    “Do not eat papaya as that might cause an abortion”.

    “Eat whatever you like! Now is the time to enjoy all your favorite foods and indulge in your cravings!”

    Of course, I didn't follow any of that because there's no logic behind such advice. But close to my due date, things got even more bizarre. The neighbors had their elderly aunt over for a visit. We invited them for coffee. The first thing she did was touch my stomach, feel it all around, and announce that it was going to be a girl. She actually advised me to go in for a cesarean on a specific date and at a specific time, so that the child's "horoscope" would be a good one. Can you imagine? As it happened, I had a baby boy and we still laugh when we think about that incident.

     The inflow of support and ‘help’ did not stop after my baby came into the world. I remember that time, soon after my son was born, when some close relatives and well-wishers gave me advice I really wish they hadn’t:

    “Do not bathe him every day.”

    What, why?  I was not comfortable with this at all, because babies need care and hygiene. So, I simply went ahead and gave him a sponge bath the first five days, and then, started regular baths. Oh, how he loved them!

    “Give baby a hot oil massage.”

    During my baby’s first summer, he developed a rash on his body. We were told to apply oil on it. But when we did, it got much worse! Naturally, I panicked and called the doctor. He sternly told us to leave it alone, and keep the baby cool with a gentle lukewarm water bath. Soon the rash cleared up. Eventually, I preferred to gently give him a coconut oil massage every alternate day – and certainly not with ultra-hot oil.

    ||

    “Bind him in a wrapper all day.”

    If there was one thing my son couldn't stand, it was being fully covered. Of course we dressed him in layers when the weather turned chilly, but binding him? No way!

    "If he's thirsty, give him sugar mixed with water"

    This was perhaps the worst advice ever. I was horrified. My doctor had advised me to exclusively breastfeed for the first six months, and if necessary, use some boiled and cooled water. Later, mashed vegetables and fruits. But sugar water? No! Infants don't need that. I recall how annoyed some of our guests were, when they came to see my son for the first time. They said it was a ritual to feed him a pinch of sugar. Can you think of how much sugar that would add up to, when a group of people visited? Ugh!

    So, yes, in retrospect, I wish these people hadn’t tried to help me with baby-care advice. I am sure they meant well, but new mothers are already anxious enough without being put through more pressure and contradictory opinions. One thing I am glad of is that, for the most part, I've followed my own instincts as a mother. I have turned to my doctor when professional medical advice became inevitable. But that said, my maternal instincts have been my greatest source of help in taking care of my son.

    I came across a television advertisement of Baby Dove the other day, and found myself smiling. They have recently launched a range of moisturising skincare and bathing products for babies, and their philosophy is something I found I have followed all along! Baby Dove believes that there is no right or wrong way to be a mom; it is entirely instinct based. The best way to care for your baby is your way. I really love their motto and think this is something all of us moms need to remember in our parenting journey. I am really glad that Baby Dove is reassuring moms out there to trust their way!

    I say this because at the end of the day, our babies turn to us for love and comfort, and loving them comes naturally to us. They don’t expect us to be perfect. They just expect us to be real and loving.



    Baby Dove believes that there is no right or wrong way to be a mom because there’s no such thing as a perfect mom – just real moms, doing it their way. Mothers instinctively know what’s best for their child and Baby Dove is here to reassure moms to trust their way!


    The newly launched Baby Dove range of products is now available on www.firstcry.com. To know more about Baby Dove, click here.



    Picture Via Shutterstock



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