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    The Beautiful Moment My Son Appreciated Me For Being His Mom
    6484 engaged
    Parenting Common Issues
    Farida Rizwan
    I am from Bengaluru, India. I am Mom of two wonderful youngsters, still enjoying my motherhood to the fullest. I am also a blogger, life-skills trainer, counselor and psychotherapist. It is amazing that I scrape in enough time to play computer games which I enjoy a lot. Head -Operations and R&D team at SHRI Pvt. Ltd. along with a part time job with www.totsguide.com. I love my job as a life skill trainer for all age groups. My passion is creating awareness in people about social issues through interactive workshops. Among other challenges of my life, I was diagnosed with Infiltrating breast carcinoma (breast cancer), state III, in April 1996 when I was breast feeding my 11 month old daughter. I have won the battle and lived my life to the fullest for 2 whole decades now. I managed to give my special needs daughter a beautiful life as well. I dare to wear my attitude rather than the indoctrination of our society or people around me.
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    07 September 2016

    The Beautiful Moment My Son Appreciated Me For Being His Mom

    4 mins read
    Common Issues
    for Teen
    6484 engaged
    One thing I have been highly successful at – Parenting! It has been an amazing experience for me to watch my children travel their journey of life and reach adulthood successfully. There have been tons of those moments when my son has appreciated me for being his mom. I know that my children appreciate who I am and admire and respect as much as they love me. But then are those special ones which we really appreciate and remember with love.

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    When Rayyan was in SSLC, he had tough time learning Urdu, which was compulsory for him. He was in a school where Urdu was a part of his syllabus. None of us had been exposed to the language during our school days.


    Rayyan is mildly dyslexic and has trouble with languages in general. Urdu and Kannada turned out to be tormentors. He is a good student and follows the rules of schools well. He listens to his teachers and tries to learn the way they teach him. But unfortunately, with all their good intentions, our teachers are not equipped with methodologies which help children with LD to learn a language. In fact, we can say, that they cannot handle a child with different needs.


    I once saw his Urdu teacher almost in tears in desperation. When everyone threw up their hands and said that there is no way Rayyan could clear Urdu exams, I decided to learn the language and teach him in my own way. I had some knowledge about the alphabets, but I decided to move ahead from there. This was my child, and I was going to help him. One month to learn the language, one month of coaching for Rayyan and he did it. He passed his 10th with good grades, including Urdu.


    A person who had a tough time learning the language, Rayyan was highly impressed with what I did. He did not hide his appreciation for me when he held the marks card in his hand. I may have achieved a lot in my life, but for Rayyan, that is something very great.

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    Yet I was surprised at what he said when he walked in with his Report Card:


    "Thank you Maa for letting me know that no matter what the result would be, you will never make me feel bad about it. For all these years, when my performance in languages were not good, you never ridiculed me even when you were so good with languages and could learn it in such a short period.


    Today, when all were nervous about the results, I was very confident that no matter what the results are, Mom will find a way out for me. When everyone made me feel there is no life without clearing the board exams, you somehow always said, that is just a part of my life. Not my life itself.


    That made a huge difference to me. I am so glad you are my mom and I feel so happy to know you are as glad to have me as your son”.


    For me, it came as a shock that I had achieved something bigger than learning a language and coaching my son for board exams in those final months. Somehow, we parents are so result oriented that we forget that children were not just meant to write exams and score good marks. There is so much more to an individual.


    Being a topper in my school, many had assumed that Rayyan would follow my footsteps. The pressure was always there, but somehow I could overcome it and let Rayyan be my son and not ‘ME’.

     

    Though Rayyan appreciated what he loved about his mom the most, he did not let go my achievement of learning a language in short duration unnoticed. He mentioned that I should have done something with my skill and ability and somehow showed me a light at the end of the tunnel.  


    With more encouragement and pushing from him, I slowly began the change. Earlier, I had given up my education and settled down to take care of my family. Now, I decided to take up studies back again. I completed my graduation, post-graduation and took up serious work.


    I wanted to become financially independent, a dream which took form when I was 44. People said it was too late to change, but I knew it was not. Today I live my dream. With my graduation, I had enough courage to move away from a coastal village where I spent 10 years, to Bangalore.


    I have done many workshops, training sessions and coaching in life-skills for many people, but I know I got my own life-skill from my child who always appreciated my efforts and encouraged me to achieve my goals. 


    Picture Via Shutterstock

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    Comments (2)

    profile pic
    Viswapriya Pattabiraman
    So touching! Beautifully written.
    profile pic
    Divya Shri
    I wish I grow up to b a mother like you are.
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